The Whole Foods Ship Has Docked

New Hampshire. Ohhhhh sweet, sweet New Hampshire. Between the epic Market Basket battle ensuing and the Shaw’s/Stop and Shop eviction that was 2012/2013, grocery shopping can become the hunger games scenario. Thankfully, I can closet my inner Katniss, put Peeta … Continue reading

Bey, Jay, and Alweezy: The 3 Best Friends That Anyone Could Have

Alison finally met her idol: Yonce, Queen Bey, B, Beyonce, Bey Bey. Oh yeah and I met her husband, Hov, too. Nbd but kbd I think we’re besties now. If besties can be formed a mere couple hundred feet away from … Continue reading

Cubelandia Survival Playlist

As the work week comes to a close, I find myself struggling needing a little bit of an extra oomph to get the day going. Therefore I’m going to rattle off my favorite work related jams. These are all songs about work and can really help ya get through a day in the cube farm. Commence the Cubelandia Survival Playlist.

PS: If any of you are on Spotify, go follow this playlist! I took all the tedious work of Googling the songs for ya!

Cubelandia Survival Playlist

1. “Diva” Beyonce

If you thought this list wouldn’t include Beyonce, you’ve clearly learned nothing about me from this blog. If you didn’t think I’d start a playlist with anyone BESIDES Queen Bey, you’ve clearly learned nothing about me from this blog. If this absolute FIRE jam doesn’t get you amped on a Monday morning, then I don’t know what will.

2. “Takin’ Care of Business” Bachman-Turner Overdrive

You’re amped up on some Beyonce and ready to KILL the day. Time to get focused and take care of business. Keeps the momentum going and focuses you on the end goal. Get after it cube monkey!

3. “9 to 5” Dolly Parton

Time to keep the momentum going. You’re only an hour deep into the day. Probably starting to feel the glare of the fluorescents on your back and your dewey morning eyes are starting to seer from the computer screen. As you frantically adjust brightness settings and attempt to create a lean-to with your jacket to block the flickering fluorescents, throw on a little Dolly to help you avoid complete cube meltdown. This steady beat with help you fall into a routine for the rest of the morning.

4. “Run The World (Girls)” Beyonce

I know, I know, “Come on Alison ANOTHER Beyonce?!?” Guys she really gets ya going. I promise. Guy, girl, or alien she’ll really get the blood flowing. By this point you’re jacket lean-to has fallen, your cube neighbor has probably started his drum solo, and the caffeine has dried up. You need a killer beat to get you back in the zone. Kill it Bey.

5. “Lets Work” Prince

Beyonce has got you AMPED. You’re ready to take Obama’s job at this point. Time to reel in that energy and power through the last hours before the sweet release of lunch. Listen to Prince, let him take your hand, and work. Get through it cube monkey, you’re almost half way there!

6. “Out Here Grindin” DJ Khaled

Hunger is setting in. You’re starting to wonder how cube monkeys before you have survived. You’re drooling on your keyboard. You’re counting the seconds before you sink your teeth into a microwave meal. Times are tough. Which calls for some grit. DJ Khaled will carry you through this endless abyss before lunch.

7. “She Works Hard For Her Money” Donna Summer

Your blood sugar has stabilized. The drool has been removed from your keyboard. You’ve had some interaction with humans face to face. A few funny YouTube videos have extracted a small chuckle from your office soul. Remember why you’re here while jammin’ to an 80’s classic. Donna Summer will kick off the second half of the day.

8. “Workin’ For A Livin'” Huey Lewis and The News

My dad is going to be overjoyed Huey Lewis and The News made the list. You’re feverishly fighting off the urge to nap at your desk after lunch. Trying to avoid staring at the tiny clock in the corner of your computer. This is your life. Embrace it. Let Huey be your mantra.

9. “Working for the Weekend” Loverboy

Time to remember what’s coming: the weekend. This is what you’re working for, to truly savor the 48 hours you have free a week. No one appreciates a weekend like a cube monkey. Would you value the weekend as much without your job? Nope. Thank your job for the pure ecstasy that is the weekend. Loverboy will provide you a friendly reminder of what’s coming.

10. “Hustlin” Rick Ross

Uhmm does this even need a description? You need a little pep in your step. It’s halfway through the afternoon. You’ve probably remembered that the sun is out and will be out when you’re done at work. The mind is starting to go for a little stroll down fantasy lane. REEL IT IN CUBE MONKEY. Embrace your inner teflon don. You are invincible. Hustle through the end of the day and finish strong! (Rick Ross Grunt)

11. “Work B*tch” Britney Spears

The day is almost over. You realize how much you need to do before your bolt to your car. Get to work. Britney will remind you of this incessantly until you get the message.

12. “Stoned” Puddle of Mudd

What’s a playlist without the Emo song? Not complete, that’s what it is! A mild panic may be creeping up about just how much you do compared to what you are rewarded with. Take a mini hate break. Let it all out with this song and let it all go with this song.

13. “It’s Not My Place (In the 9 To 5 Workplace)” Ramones

Freedom is near. You feel like a caged animal in a zoo in the 1920s when animal rights didn’t exist. Everything is funny. You make terrible puns and laugh so hard you cry. It’s like Anchorman with the glass case of emotion phone booth, except you’re in a partial office with temporary walls and no door. This isn’t you. When you sat in your college classes dreaming of changing the world, you didn’t expect to end up here. Remind yourself of that with this mini jam. It’s gonna be okay. Even Steve Jobs had to start somewhere.

14. “Bang On The Drum” Todd Rundgren

Iiiiiiiiiiii don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on the drums all day! Enough said! You’re in the last hour of the day, you’re ready to go and be free. Get ready to fly free little cube elf, it’s almost time!

15. “Nothin But A Good Time” Poison

FREE AT LAST! You’ve entered the oasis that is your car. You are joining millions of others on the 5pm fight to the death commute home. It’s time to weave and bob you’re way home! Rock out with a little Poison. Find your inner human, shake your groove thang, and remind yourself that you can go #nofilter for the next 12 hours.

You all are so welcome for this playlist. If this doesn’t get your day going, I don’t know what will.

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Beyoncé (#obvs)

Mondays are usually not too much of a struggle for me. My worst day of the week is usually Thursday. Thursday is just endless and I swear some hunger games level habitat control always occurs. Anyways, usually on Monday it takes me about 1 hour to snap out of the weekend mode and hop into work mode. But today was just meh. It wasn’t a bad day, wasn’t an outstanding day, just a day. So when days are meh naturally my mind wanders and creates elaborate schemes for myself. Today’s wander-sesh began with “What is Beyoncé doing right now?” I cannot tell you why this was my first thought – but it was, so just go with it. I was just sitting in cube land thinking “What’s Queen B up to?” Thus I have arrived at today’s post: the various diva-isms I wish to channel from Queen Bey herself.

1. Classy Glitter

Every single performance Beyoncé does incorporates more classy glitter than I ever thought existed. What is classy glitter you ask? Well just take a quick meander through a Beyoncé glitter Google image search for some examples. What is not classy glitter is anything Ke$ha. Although do not get me wrong, there are certainly times and places where Ke$ha glitter is needed and accepted. If you are so lucky to be my Facebook friend, you know that I have an affinity for classy glitter – especially with my nails. I want so desperately to find a career where it is completely appropriate to rock some serious classy glitter. (please hold your stripper / exotic dancer jokes ’til the end of the post)

Glitter       Beyonce
classy glitter

Kesha

Ke$ha glitter – reserved for select occasions

2. Jay-Z

Let me immediately clarify that Jay-Z is not even on my top 25 list of male celebrities I’d go for – that’s another post for another day. Except if you are Jay-Z reading this right now, you are absolutely #1 and you can tweet at me to set up a dinner date.

I am merely commenting on the fantastic relationship Jay and Bey appear to have. I mean Jay-Z went vegan for TWENTY TWO whole days for Beyoncé. That is some SERIOUS love. I’d need at least 4 golden retriever puppies, an endless supply of vegan fro-yo that actually tastes good, and a Range Rover to even contemplate going vegan. Plus every picture I see of them they look adorbs and they’ve done some pretty on point duets (Bonnie and Clyde anybody?).

Jay and B            Jay and B

3. Sasha Fierce

This is my favorite aspect of Beyonce’s demeanor and I probably should have put it first on the list. But the glitter was very distracting and I don’t feel like re-ordering this post. Beyoncé’s alter ego, Sasha Fierce, embodies her “I won’t take nuthin from nobody” mentality.

Beyoncé gets what she wants. She doesn’t beg and plead for it, she earns it. She works for what she wants and people respect her more as a musician, mother, and celebrity because of it.

She has made some tough business decisions, like firing her father from being her manager and taking total creative control over her career. Imagine how hard it would be to work with your parents let alone have to fire them? Helllooo awkward family dinners for the rest of your life.

She is fiercely private about her personal life. She has done an amazing job keeping herself and her family out of the press. She’s created a barrier between her personal life and public life. Therefore she is seen as an artist and not as some tartlet who was flopping around on Bieber’s lap last weekend.

She practices what she preaches. Many of her songs focus around empowering females to be strong and independent. While I may jam out to Run The World (Girls) because it’s catchy, there’s some pretty powerful messaging going on in that song.

I consider myself a relatively outgoing person. (I can hear the chuckles from my friends and family at that comment already) But I think we all could benefit from adding a little sasha fierce to our lives. Be who you wanna be and do what you wanna do. Channel the sasha fierce.

Sasha Fierce

This post was wicked deep for a second post. I apologize. But this Beyoncé introspection is really all I got going on for this Monday. I had a terrible run at the gym but what else is new.

With that I leave you with my all time favorite Queen Bey jam – Diva.
May your tomorrow be just a little bit more #sashafierce.